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Today I have decided to share a letter that was recently emailed me. I feel that the questions raised pertain to many of us and I would therefore like to address them on this forum in the hopes that they may benefit others as well. *I have changed the names of all concerned to keep their identity anonymous.*
QUESTION:
Dear Tal,
Back in 2000 I was working with John (name of facilitator has been changed to keep his anonymity) doing hypnosis and NLP to help people with their "problems"... at that time I had what I now know to be "spiritual experiences"... since I was unable to create a business of what I knew, these experiences went dormant until I was at a John's "manifestation" workshop about 18 months ago... after a few questions which I felt represented me and several others, John asked me to get on this "Journey" and take his courses and read from the reading list... well I have taken all his classes and read several books and had many different experiences, break-throughs, "spiritual" awakenings, and some "unusual" events... while I am learning alot I am fighting a battle personally...
1)Why am I able to help others and not myself?
Tal answers: Paul, I know from my own experience how important it is for us practitioners (facilitators / healers / therapists / coaches) to enlist the support of a skilled and trustworthy practitioner ourselves, to help US surface and heal our own 'blind spots'. This allows us to be truly available to support others in their own healing as well as to focus our full attention and energy on OUR BIG DREAMS (rather than expending too much energy festering in our wounds).
I am a true believer in continually healing my own unresolved issues as a premise to supporting others in their own process. In the counseling world, receiving continual support and supervision is not even optional!
I have found that working with a skilled practitioner is highly beneficial and oftentimes essential to explore and release old wounds (emotional charges). A skilled practitioner should be able to hold a safe 'container' or space that will allow you to explore and integrate your process.
Once we release much of the emotional charge around our past wounding, it is easier to focus our attention and feelings on that which we really DO want to manifest.
You see, we need to FEEL AND THINK what we DO want in order to magnetize it into our lives. However, when we walk around with 'open emotional wounds' and do our positive affirmations or visualizations, we may bypass or 'de-press' any emotional wounding that may surface in the process. I call this a 'spiritual bypass'. It is like imagining oneself in Arizona without really having driven the entire path to get there. At some point the illusion will collapse as we have not laid a solid foundation. In other words we have not truly 'done the work' to get there.
I am in no way implying that in order to reach your goals you have to 'work hard', but I am saying that we are holistic beings.... and that we do need to tend to our emotional level as well. At some point our imagination and positive thinking, the mental level, (although extremely potent when paired with other levels) needs to be aligned with our emotional, physical (action) and spiritual levels. This is a truly holistic approach that I have found brings about potent change.
Paul, although there are many ways of supporting your own growth and healing (I will be sharing many of these in my upcoming book) , it is always wise to enlist the support of an-other!
2) How can I find the happiness I desire so I can become the person others would want to follow?
Tal answers: I have found that happiness is not something we look for and not something that is "out there" or out of our reach. Rather, it is about being present with what IS. It is about being grateful for what already exists in our life. Hapinness is a moment- to- moment choice to focus on the beauty and abundance in our lives rather than on the lack.
When we focus on the abundance that already exists in our life, our heart expands...and when our heart is expanded, we feel more alive and at peace with ourselves and the world. I think happiness is A PRACTICE. When we move through our lives with a greater sense of appreciation and reverie for what is, then we cannot help but have an expanded experience of this world.
Happiness is not about feeling jovial all the time but rather it is about embracing the full spectrum of our humanity . It is as much about embracing our sadness, our pain and our 'lows' as it is about celebrating our joys and our 'highs'. I have found that gratitude is a potent key that opens the door to the compassion, love and acceptance that resides within our own hearts.
When we are willing to let go of the judgments we hold about ourselves, others and the world at large and move into a place of gratitude for the many different ways we get to relate to an-other and learn about ourselves and others, we are presented with the opportunity to hold every-thing in the light of our own compassion. This allows us to BE in happiness, touch it and experience it in a very palpable way.
Paul, I have found that when I made the 'integrity of my heart' my highest priority and committed to 'speaking up' and sharing MY truth, others who were seeking that same 'truth' were magnetized to me. On the physical-behavioral level (taking action), it also required that I present my 'truth' in a way that was clear and accessible to others. For that purpose, I created brochures explaining 'my truth and work' and set up a website for people to visit and find out if my 'work' aligned with what they were seeking.
Your job is to get really clear about your mission, your 'truth' and your work. Then present it to others in a way that is accessible to them. Finally, let go and let others decide if you are a good fit for them! When I became really clear about how it is that I wanted to serve others, my business (= the opportunity to serve more people) expanded exponentially! I invite you to do the same.
I re-mind you that no-one else can serve this world in the UNIQUE ways that you can! I absolutely know that there are people out there who are waiting to be supported by YOU!
3) Who can help me find direction/destiny/purpose so I know what I am really doing? or suposed to do?Tal answers: My own experience of working MY process and facilitating others with THEIR healing and growth, has shown me that we really do have ALL THE ANSWERS WITHIN US! That said, I have also found that most of us often need help recognizing our own blind-spots and ultimately healing them. This is where a skilled facilitator /practitioner comes in. A skilled practitioner will hold a SAFE CONTAINER for you to awaken to your own authentic knowing.
This process often brings up unhealed wounds and memories from the past. I have found that without tending to these unhealed wounds it is difficult (though not impossible) to move forward with our heartfelt dreams. This is because much of our energy (life -force) is sapped by our past wounding/memories (this is mostly subconsious).
There are many techniques to free ourselves from the shackles of our past. It is thus important to find a practitioner that resonates with your deepest intentions for your own growth and healing. Once energy is freed up it is easier to connect with our authentic passions and take inspired action to manifest them in our lives.
In terms of finding a facilitator/practitioner who can truly serve YOU, I suggest you begin by getting really clear about what it is that YOU would like to accomplish. Perhaps you would like to gain more clarity regarding your life purpose and be supported in taking next steps towards manifesting your goal?
Then begin focusing on drawing that 'perfect' person (for you) into your life. You could write down all the qualities in a facilitator that you feel would best serve you. Would you prefer one-on-one sessions or a group setting? Face-to-face or telephone sessions? Perhaps a combination of these would work best for you? Visualize universal support, just like the rays of the sun, shining on you. Then, pair this with ACTION. Ask people for referrals, do some research on the internet and notice if any synchronicities 'fall into your lap'!
4) If some of the people I have crossed paths with are right, how am I to harness these gifts so I can do some good? where do I get training? I guess that letting you know that numerologists, wiccans, reiki healers, and others I have met have wondered why I don't understand the gifts I have and how to use them... If you have some answers, insight, or able to help me understand what I am to do I look forward to our future conversations... John says we are all healers when we let go of our conscious minds and let our unconscious/spiritual power do what is natural in helping others... that the more we learn, the more we can help ourselves remember what we are capable of doing... unfortunately, I don't believe that John can help me reach my full potential because he is a "great actor" who has a vast knowledge in the spiritual/shamanic arena and has built his business in attracting others like myself to him and his "Journey"... and does not know the answers either... if you have read Castenada and understand the difference between looking and "seeing", then you will understand my desire to understand how to "see" and use my "gifts" to do some good... but I have a lot to learn first... I look forward to your response and future conversations... Thank you... Paul
Tal answers: Paul, it seems to me that you have received clear feedback from others that your 'gifts' have served them well. I am a great believer in getting started NOW (rather than trying to understand everything) ! This means that you can already begin serving those people in your closest community with your "gifts"! The universe rewards ACTION. In other words, when you take action, the universe gets that you mean serious business and will begin to support you in ways that you may not be able to fathom from your current perspective.
Begin by taking 'baby steps'. You may want to give away some FREE sessions so that people can get to know you. Perhaps these people will then be willing to give you a testimonial and refer you to a friend. Perhaps it is time to clarify what you do and create a flyer or a website. The point is to get the ball rolling. At some point it will continue to roll on its own and you won't have to expend as much energy as you did at first to keep it going.
This does not mean you cannot get the training you seek WHILE you serve others. To magnetize the perfect facilitator or school, use the skills you already have (many of which John teaches) to set a clear intention and get really clear about the type of training that will best support you reach a higher level of mastery and harness your gifts more skillfully!
P.S.I remind you to ALWAYS 'check inside' with your own inner guidance to see if all the above resonates with you!
Sending you blessings of abundance , happiness and much joy!
Warmly,
Tal
About the author:
Tal Shai, MA (Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Spiritual Psychology) is an Intuitive Life Coach who helps people all over the planet create the life of their dreams. She is the author of the Intuition Heart Cards and Guidebook, an interactive tool designed to support groups and individuals access their inner guidance - www.talshai.com .
NOTE: You are welcome to use this article in your ezine, newsletter or any other publication as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the “about the author” info at the end), and you send a copy of your 'reprint' to tal@talshai.com
